How to get in with the Mummy Mafia or find a mummy friend.
The long and the short of it is when your child starts school - you will be trans
ported back in time to your own school days.
And yes just because we all grew up and are adults (sort of) people will still revert back to their old selves ... the shy don't magically become extroverts the bullies don't magically become nice....
So my advice forgets the nasties and find someone in your class of 30 mum's or nannies that you connect with and have a coffee... organise a coffee morning using WhatsApp get people together and become a connector and connect ....Not everyone will be your cup of tea and hey guess what neither will you.
Struggling to get your class to do social things or coffee mornings - Join the PTA - these are the people that do have a bit of time and would like to connect... you don't need to isolate yourself to your own class!
Be an organiser
As a successful socializer - often having too many invites in one week that I have to turn them down - I would say be an organiser - be the one that people go to and that everyone knows by name as the person who is arranging it all - when people have a good time and find meaningful connections they bond and become very appreciative of whoever organised - but share the workload - find a like-minded person (see how I'm doing this - a like-minded mummy who might become a friend through doing things ) to help you organise things... Do the following with your class
Set up a whats app group
Get all the parents or just the mum's on there - its useful to for parties or when Johnny has lost his jumper or to remind everyone of swimming or homework... its a great mini community in a school and normally everyone joins it...
Keep your WhatsApp clean
no unnecessary comments and communication or advertising as this becomes annoying.
Nights out and coffee mornings
once a term set up a coffee morning - change the days as not everyone can do a Wednesday or Friday
and set up a night out at the local pub or comedy night
Camping Trips
set a class camping trip - nothing bonds people more than 2 sleepless nights .... lol the struggle
(pick a campsite that is kid friendly and you won't worry about your child disappearing or being eaten by beasts)
Drop off
Do drop off and pick up! If you can - seeing people at the school gates is a massive mummy mafia bonding moment. Especially after an event like a night out or camping trip - sharing your war stories of washing stinky clothes and how lovely and soft your bed was that night - or how hungover you are - does actually really bond and give you something to talk about.
Main social rules when trying to penetrate the very converted Mummy Mafia is
1 - create your own Mafia tribe - forget about those that you can crack! Look at who is around you and who is asking you to coffee - spend time with them... forget about the "cool kids" - believe me their husbands are probably cheating on them or slapping them around or they are secretly miserable - regardless what their social media says... Forget them move on - create your own tribe !
2- Don't gossip - unless about the nasty mum's obviously - but never ever slag off anyone in your own tribe! Mum's are notoriously suspicious and if you are seen being buddy-buddy with someone in your group then slag her off behind her back - mum's wonder - is she doing that to me? (note on gossip - we all do it I know - be careful that person you are gossiping to is not besties with that person - always gage
3 - smile - be nice - everyone likes a happy positive person - someone that is always moaning and groaning is not fun to be around - sucks the life out of others.
4 - Share - share your vulnerability with people - it makes you human - but not every day - let people see your struggles they will want to help you but you can't have a problem every time you see them
5- Balance - make sure you give back - taking and giving is very important - make sure your relationships are balanced - you are not always giving they are not always taking and visa versa - if you have done loads for others let them do things for you - give them the space to do so! Let others organise things - maybe make a suggestion to get the ball rolling...
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