|The image we as mothers are meant to|
portray and are expected to live up to ...
Bet you this women wasn't even a mother, silly cow
looks way to happy and rested...
Now having two children under two with very little help or family around I feel is almost suicidal. Everyone paints this ideallic wonder mom picture of how life is meant to be, when you are a stay at home mom with 2 very small children. How its meant to be all bliss and serene, with butterflies fluttering around and baby power in the air. You are meant to be glowing and wonderfully beautiful while you make biscuits in your spotless kitchen - well it's not like that at all ! It is MANIC!!! I dont want to scare anyone - but I wish people has just prepared me - rather than blown sugar up my baby pile butt.
I absolutely wouldn't give up being with my babies for the world! I know I moan A LOT about how hard it is. But you do need some space to vent and clear your thoughts and find appreciations again. What gets me through the day is believing my views, ideals and beliefs are being imprinted on my children and not someone elses. I also want to enjoy this wonderful time with my kids and teach them as much as possible before life takes them on their own journey and we as parents become taxi's, fairying them from school to extra mural activity and life snaps them up and they leave the house.
I wouldn't ever want to miss out cuddles from my son, especially when he has just woken up and he hanges on really tight - like there is no better place than in my arms. Or my daughter cuddling up to me and telling me I'm her best friend - those are amazing moments and they really help me through the mayhem and make me appreciate the time with children.
|This is what mother hood really is like - thrown up|
on you when you are still in bed and in the face too
So now fully aware of getting enough continuous sleep (not interrupted sleep ) I am allot calmer and feel I can cope again... I now feel I have the conscious mind and energy to deal with my very needy overly clever little girl, and my super active little boy... When you are so tired you cant think or do - its time for serious time out and sleep for Mommy...
Having 2 children under 2 is crazy... You are basically raising 2 babies but not 2 babies at the same developmental stage (like everyone seems to think). They are not twins especially when its a girl and a boy - they have vastly different needs - one has physical and the other has cognitive and making time for both is a challenge. Yes I'm sure its true when they older they will be best friends but first they have to survive childhood and so do you ...
Having twins envolves 2 of everything and doing the same routines together interchangeably (I have not ever raised twins so I dont want to take anything away from the difficulty of having twins - I take my hat off to parents of twins - it looks painfully difficult) . But 2 under 2 requires you dealing with 2 babies essentially - at 2 different stages both being very demanding. Like sleeping in the afternoon - My poor baby would often not make it to Michaela's nap time and would fall asleep before hand and hence not nap at lunch when my daughter napped - so I would have one awake and one asleep and not break in between. This did eventually resolve itself but those few months of absolutely no break was tuff.
My baby is 18months now and my little girl is 3 now - I only now feel that we have finally come out the other side about a month ago... it was 17 months of really hard work - early mornings, interrupted sleep, day time physical exertion - lifting into and out of buggies, cars, jungle gyms, kitchen counters, top of cupboards and every where they not meant to be...
Tips on Two under Two
GET HELP - as much as you can - I had a cleaner once a week and a nanny 2 afternoons a week. You cannot do everything (well some super mom's can - i'm no super mom) Nanny gave me time to myself and gave me time to sleep when I was sleep deprived, my cleaner gave me a clean slate to work from every week when I felt the world was collapsing on me (or the washing pile was mounting over my head).
|Michaela snacking out and about even in the snow|
Good book to read - A really good book I read when my son was born was - The second baby survival guide
Organisations to contact if you need help Home start Link - this is a wonderful charitable / volunteer based organisation that helps out families that need help and feel overwhelmed or are going through a difficult time... I had a wonderful lady come in once a week for 2 hours so I could spend time with daughter alone (this helped with her attention seeking behaviour - because she need my undivided attention which i couldn't give her because I had another monkey to deal with).
Others Sure Start Centres, call your local council and ask about a list of play groups.
Get 2 of everything - they will always want each others stuff - especially bottles, sip cups, bowls, cutlery etc... you don't want unnecessary stress over silly things.
|Tristans snuggled up in the buggy - fast asleep|
|Tristan at 3 months - His favourite spot|