Friday, 20 January 2012

Best parenting advice I have been given

Best parenting advice I have been given

Raising children is HARD (no not like getting the lid off a jar - hard , but like doing a never ending spinning class while deprived of sleep, with a full bladder, heartburn and piles - HARD HARD HARD!!)

Don't judge someone else's kid today because tomorrow yours will be doing the same. (next week it's your turn to have your toddler push another kid face first off a slide!)

When someone gives you advice you don't need, smile and nod - one day it will be you dispensing useless advice to deaf ears. ( says me on my intraweb soap box )

When you have 2 under 2 pay at attension to your toddler. The younger one needs feeds, cuddles, sleeps and changing. Your older one needs you the most. Get a sling or carry and strap your baby to you - your baby will sleep and your hands and mind will be free to attend to your toddler.

Get out of the house! Walk with them. It does everyone good. Makes babies sleep and gets rid of toddlers energy.

Sleep. Sleep where ever, when ever you can. (I used to sleep at my desk during lunch at work) ( When totally exhausted TV is a great time out so you can snooze for 10min - you will know the program is over - they will let you know!!)

Use baby books as back ground information, not as bibles. Each child and situation is different. Trust your own judgement or phone someone that knows you and your child's situation. Join an NCT or mothers support group - especially first time round - emotional support is key in the early days...

Go to play groups. Meet with other kids. It makes life so much easier. Let your kids get tired out by other children - let your children trash someone else's house for a change ! LOL

If breastfeeding is painful and difficult don't quit supplement feed one bottle a day. Breast feeding is difficult and time consuming but don't give up straight away - it is wonderful when you are in the swing of it... Supplement even 1/2 a feed a day - this will give your body enough time to recover - and settle a restless baby...

Children are made of rubber they always bounce back.

Take it each hour at a time. Not each day. Divide your day up small and go slow.

When you are feeling defeated have a good cry and a moan to someone who will listed, dust yourself off and try again!

It's ok for your children to see you cry or be angry, these are normal emotions your children need to learn. (ok drama queens need to tone it down - teach your child empathy - ugly criers need to make a plan! )It is unhealthy for them to think the world is just constant smiles and happiness. ( nice concept but not sustainable ) ( I remember my daughter frustrating me so much one day I burst into tears out of pure frustration. She was so shocked and asked what was wrong and I told her that her behaviour had made me sad. She was so shocked she changed her behaviour dramatically. I now get huge hugs when she has been naughty and I remind her being naughty makes me sad - emotional black mail but it works for us ... )

Speak to your child. Explain how you feel. They understand more than you think. Give them verble tools. When my son was born my daughter really acted up. I said to my 19 month at the time, if you are angry or need attention come and say "hugs" or "attention mom" instead of being naughty. Never thinking she would get it but she did! To this day she now asks for attention and I make a point of asking if she wants some extra cuddles or hugs. It's like a magic attitude adjustment.

Hug and kiss your children alot!!! It makes them confident, makes them feel secure and loved. A good hug actually sets of a physiological reaction inside humans that naturally calms the nervous system. So when all else fails - huggles!!

Routine and consistency is key to a happy child. From meals to sleep and discipline. They find it reassuring to have a routine - to almost know what is next - it also helps you figure out what is up with them. Be it late sleep or late meal  and makes it really quick and easy to remedy a melt down situation...

Dont wake a sleeping baby - if a baby is sleeping longer than normal - they normally need it - so count your lucky stars and kick back and have cup of tea and watch some crap day time TV... Remember children grow when they are sleeping - so they need sleep ...

Someone told my you haven't parented until you have 2 children - especially if those 2 are 2 under 2 !! I thought one was difficult (this it is - it comes with its own special unique difficulties - adjusting to life without a life of your own - adjusting to sleepless nights etc... adjusting to baby lingo and gumpf .... Having one child or your first child is its own special stress - it's like being tortured - just when you think it couldn't get any worse or you are coping, you have another and it throws everything you thought out the window )
But real hardcore parenting comes in when you have 2 or more ! It takes special skills to divide yourself up into "equal" pieces ! Juggling yourself, your energy, your resources , your time and completely scrapping any time for yourself... Yes its true,  you really have to step it up when you have more than one child - on all levels - especially your nerves... Only because everything tends to be in stereo ! They play together , fight together, make messes together - if one child has a bad habit the other will copy and replicate that bad habit in there own special way. My daughter picks her nose my son pic's it and eats it !( always trying to out do each other! ) My sons cries so my daughter impersonates him upsetting him even more - all while my sleepless brain is trying to clam it all down and i'm trying to make dinner , while trying to get ready to go out with husband for the first time in 6 months with out kids to a restaurant that doesn't serve crayons and colouring in books with their starters! But at the end of the day they are Uber cute and they make your day and you would die for them - so after all the torture and pain - you wake up the next day and do it again because you love your little buggers ... But yes real hardcore parenting comes in after you have 2 ... This following link comes to mind - I always worry I will be faced with this one day ... 2 little boys and flour link

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