Best parenting advice I have been given
Raising children is HARD (no not like getting the lid off a jar - hard, but like doing a never-ending spinning class while deprived of sleep, with a full bladder, heartburn and piles - HARD HARD HARD!!)
Don't judge someone else's kid today because tomorrow yours will be doing the same. (next week it's your turn to have your toddler push another kid face first off a slide!)
When someone gives you advice you don't need, smile and nod - one day it will be you dispensing useless advice to deaf ears. ( says me on my intraweb soap box )
When you have 2 under 2 pay at attention to your toddler. The younger one needs feeds, cuddles, sleeps and changing. Your older one needs you the most. Get a sling or carry and strap your baby to you - your baby will sleep and your hands and mind will be free to attend to your toddler.Get out of the house! Walk with them. It does everyone good. Makes babies sleep and gets rid of toddlers energy.
Sleep. Sleep where ever, whenever you can. (I used to sleep at my desk during lunch at work) ( When totally exhausted TV is a great time out so you can snooze for 10min - you will know the program is over - they will let you know!!)Use baby books as background information, not as bibles. Each child and situation is different. Trust your own judgement or phone someone that knows you and your child's situation. Join an NCT or mothers support group - especially first time round - emotional support is key in the early days...
Go to playgroups. Meet with other kids. It makes life so much easier. Let your kids get tired out by other children - let your children trash someone else's house for a change ! LOL
If breastfeeding is painful and difficult don't quit supplement feed one bottle a day. Breastfeeding is difficult and time-consuming but don't give up straight away - it is wonderful when you are in the swing of it... Supplement even 1/2 a feed a day - this will give your body enough time to recover - and settle a restless baby...
Children are made of rubber they always bounce back.
Take it each hour at a time. Not each day. Divide your day up small and go slow.
When you are feeling defeated have a good cry and a moan to someone who will listen, dust yourself off and try again!
It's ok for your children to see you cry or be angry, these are normal emotions your children need to learn. (ok drama queens need to tone it down - teach your child empathy - ugly criers need to make a plan! )It is unhealthy for them to think the world is just constant smiles and happiness. ( nice concept but not sustainable ) ( I remember my daughter frustrating me so much one day I burst into tears out of pure frustration. She was so shocked and asked what was wrong and I told her that her behaviour had made me sad. She was so shocked she changed her behaviour dramatically. I now get huge hugs when she has been naughty and I remind her of being naughty makes me sad - emotional blackmail but it works for us ... )
Speak to your child. Explain how you feel. They understand more than you think. Give them verbal tools. When my son was born my daughter really acted up. I said to my 19 months at the time, if you are angry or need attention come and say "hugs" or "attention mom" instead of being naughty. Never thinking she would get it but she did! To this day she now asks for attention and I make a point of asking if she wants some extra cuddles or hugs. It's like a magic attitude adjustment.
Hug and kiss your children a lot!!! It makes them confident, makes them feel secure and loved. A good hug actually sets of a physiological reaction inside humans that naturally calms the nervous system. So when all else fails - huggles!!
Routine and consistency is key to a happy child. From meals to sleep and discipline. They find it reassuring to have a routine - to almost know what is next - it also helps you figure out what is up with them. Be it late sleep or late meal and makes it really quick and easy to remedy a meltdown situation...
Don't wake a sleeping baby - if a baby is sleeping longer than normal - they normally need it - so count your lucky stars and kick back and have a cup of tea and watch some crap day time TV... Remember children grow when they are sleeping - so they need sleep ...
Someone told me you haven't parented until you have 2 children - especially if those 2 are 2 under 2 !! I thought one was difficult (this it is - it comes with its own special unique difficulties - adjusting to life without a life of your own - adjusting to sleepless nights etc... adjusting to baby lingo and gumpf .... Having one child or your first child is its own special stress - it's like being tortured - just when you think it couldn't get any worse or you are coping, you have another and it throws everything you thought out the window )
Or a frustrated Monkey who wants screen time and I've said no....
Screen time!
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